Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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