I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
