I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
