I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
