My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize