so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
