lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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