Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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