Duck Duck Cougar?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
