my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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