In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
