Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
