I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
