I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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