Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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