You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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