We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize