Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
