At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
