i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
