you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
