Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
