Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
