He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
