somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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