I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
