playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
