if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
