am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So squirting runs in the family.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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