Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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