no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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