I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
