The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
