Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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