My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize