CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
