why do cheetos always look like penises
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
