Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
