One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Randomize
