she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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