FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
