I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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