in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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