Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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