Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
