its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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