I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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