i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
