So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize