Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
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I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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