i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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