i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
