wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
