You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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