so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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