WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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